Guard Dogs and Guide Dogs

How does a leader build trust?

Distrust comes first

People talk about how divided we are,

"it's worse than ever!"

"most divided since the Civil War!"

I'm here to tell you that distrust is normal. In every situation we ALWAYS start with distrust. It's only human.

You see, the amygdala is your inner brain, the part of the brain through which all your senses travel BEFORE getting to your rational brain, the Prefrontal Cortex.

Guard Dog

The amygdala has one job: Guard Dog. This guard dog is designed to determine whether or not you should run away are fight. But, either way, the guard dog perceives every new sensation as a threat, therefore, it starts with distrust.

You're a threat until you prove otherwise

The first question the Guard Dog asks in any situation is "I distrust you. Should I stop?" In order to get past the Guard Dog, the answer has to be, "I no longer distrust you." This is not the same as trust, it is only the baseline determination of the lack of distrust.

Guide Dog

After the Guard Dog is satisfied that you are not to be distrusted, now the Guide Dog (Prefrontal Cortex) will ask the question, "Do I trust you?" This is a very different question.

The question that the Guard Dog answered was merely allowing you to stay put, you’re not fleeing and you’re not fighting. You’re waiting. Waiting on the Guide Dog. The Guide Dog now has to determine whether or not you can engage.

Trust is Essential

Trust is essential for any leader, whether it’s for a Fortune 500 company, small business, nonprofit, family, community foundation, political office…you name it. Any leadership in any context requires trust.

Trust provides the foundation for many good things: collaboration, innovation, productivity, growth, development, and flourishing.

Where do you start as a leader? How do you take the first step to ensure that the Guard Dog doesn't run away or fight you?

Follow the Trust Flywheel

Mitigate > Engage > Test

Mitigate distrust - Transparency and Accountability

Transparency and Accountability do not build trust, they only placate the Guard Dog, but remember that you have to get past the Guard Dog to get to the Guide Dog.

Transparency is allowing your intentions to be clear. This can be difficult for leaders because your intentions are often misinterpreted. But, clearly stating your intentions behind decisions can help the Guard Dog be a little more comfortable.

Accountability is allowing others to speak into your decision-making. This can be a confusing term for leaders, because leaders still have the final say on decisions, but to tame the Guard Dog, team members must be able to legitimately confront the leader without fear of repercussions.

Engage Trust - Openness and Truth-telling

After taming the Guard Dog, the Guide Dog takes over. To win over the Guide Dog, you must engage trust through Openness and Truth-Telling.

Openness is different from transparency. Transparency is merely revealing your intention, openness is a sincere willingness to allow new information alter your point of view.

If every meeting you lead ends with the result that you had determined beforehand, you may be placating the Guard Dog, but I guarantee the Guide Dog is still sitting there, and not engaging. If you keep up this behavior, the Guard Dog will get restless in short order.

Truth-telling - Tell the truth to yourself and others.

This can be tricky as a leader. You must tell the truth in all circumstances, but must withhold information in most circumstances in order to protect confidentiality, preserve people’s reputation, or protect the organizational mission.

To determine that line is a dance that is fraught with challenge, but is the nature of leadership.

Once you’ve engaged trust through Openness and Truth-telling, then you enter the final step, Testing Trust.

As a leader, you will be tested on a daily basis because trust is dynamic, never static. Your every action related to transparency, accountability, openness and truth-telling is being consistently evaluated by both the Guard and Guide Dogs.

You’re on a flywheel, and you mitigate distrust, engage trust, and test trust - over and over and over. Don’t ever think you can step off of this flywheel. It’s part and parcel of leadership in any form.

But, because it’s a flywheel, the longer you push, the more the momentum of your relationship will carry you. The thicker your engagement, the quicker you mitigate, the faster you engage, the quicker your mitigate…ad infinitum.

Developing trust as a leader is simple. Simple, but not easy. Start practicing today!

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